BFB
by pbow
Summary: This is my version of the final episode of iCarly. There were just too many questions left unanswered so I took it upon myself to answer them. I also borrowed a song from Victorious to move the story along.
1. The Song

Disclaimer: I own not the characters, situations or locations from the **Nickelodeon** series **iCarly**. They are copyrighted by either the network or Dan Schneider. (Don't know which and don't care. I only know that I don't and I'm not getting paid for writing these stories.) I also don't own the rights to the song used in chapter 1. I only write these stories using the characters and such for my own, and your, enjoyment.

Author's Note: This is my take on the final episode of the television show **iCarly**. I think there were just too many questions left hanging by Mr. Schneider and company as to what would happen to the characters in the future. (An obvious ploy just in case the series is ever picked up again or they do a special reunion movie.)

Why did Carly kiss Freddie in the studio and then leave for Italy with her father? Was she simply teasing him, leading him on _or_ telling him that she wanted to get together with him after she returned from abroad? I think it was all just one big tease. Freddie should have gotten angry at Carly for leading him on, getting his hopes up and then left him dangling in the wind. (And then the pathetic silent cheer from him? The wimp!)

Sam was left just riding around Seattle, using up the only tank of gas she could probably afford while Spencer faded into the background with his flaming squirrel camera. (And Gibby was left in tears with his pet weasel.)

The ending was a major disappointment to me so I wrote this story. The beginning comes directly from the final episode with a tiny bit of insight into the characters thoughts, but quickly spins off in the direction I think it should have.

Enjoy.

Xxxxxx

BFB

Chapter 1

The Song

Xxxxxx

"You got the right choke knob!?" Spencer Shay yelled in glee as he raced over to the motorcycle sitting next to the kitchen island counter that Samantha "Sam" Puckett had just unveiled, and quickly looked over the now pristine machine.

Sam did a little victory shuffle as she rightfully boasted, "Mamma get's the job done."

Spencer was simply flabbergasted as he sat astride the like-new, fully restored 1964 Sterling motorcycle that he and Sam had been working on for almost a week so that Socko, Spencer's one and only adult friend, could give it to his cousin Ryder Daniels as a birthday present. How Socko was planning to transport the cycle down south to Hollywood, Spencer neither knew nor cared. The motorcycle was in 'showroom new' condition once again so his involvement in the project was finished.

Sam was stoked, too. She'd put in quite a few hours working on the cycle, not to mention fooling the bike shop owner so she could purchase the correct choke knob. (Who paints and decorates rocks as a hobby, anyway?) But she wanted to be there when Socko gave the bike away so she asked, "So, when's Socko giving it to his cousin?"

Spencer's demeanor flattened out as he sat up erect on the bike and sadly said, "Um, that would be never."

It was Sam's turn to be flabbergasted. All the hard work she'd put in and now there wouldn't be any payoff? "Whatdaya mean never?"

Spencer idly tested the action of the clutch as he answered, "Well, Socko called a little while ago and told me he and his cousin got into a big fight, and now he's not giving Ryder the motorcycle. Socko said it had something to do with the way Ryder hooked up with a girl, only to use her to get a good grade in class at Hollywood Art's High School and then he'd dump 'em. Then he'd move on to another girl who could help in one of his other classes."

Dismay would probably be an apt description of the way Sam took the news. Well, that and a bit of anger filled her voice as she anguished, "So we did all this work for _nothin!?"_ She tightly griped the wrench she was holding, maybe thinking about using it on Ryder Daniels for being such a boneheaded skunk-bag. (Or maybe just hitting the bike a few times to vent her frustration. That option was quickly nixed at the idea of damaging such a fine piece of motorcycle excellence.)

Spencer saw the murderous look in Sam's eyes and, terrified, suggested, _"Maybe_ you should put the wrench down." He certainly didn't want to end up on the wrong end of the tool, and knowing Sam's tendencies for violence it just might happen if he didn't defuse the situation immediately.

Sam paused for a few seconds, warring with her desire to do Socko's cousin a bit of bodily harm and, just maybe, letting it go like Spencer wanted. She finally decided to do the grownup thing and tossed the wrench onto the couch. She turned to Spencer and questioned, "So what's Socko gonna do with the bike?"

The lanky artist got off the motorcycle, moved to stand beside his sister's best friend to lovingly gaze at the piece of motorcycle perfection and nonchalantly shrugged, "He said I could keep it."

Now, 'floored' was an expression Sam would normally use in a completely different context, namely when she punched someone and they went down. You know, the literal sense of the word. But now she was figuratively floored by what Spencer had just said. She wasn't sure if she'd heard him right so she begged, "He just _gave_ you the coolest motorcycle on the planet?! For _free?!"_

Spencer stood there in the classic thinking man pose, rubbing his chin as he confirmed, "Um-hum. But... I don't think I'm gonna keep it."

Sam knew Spencer still had his own motorcycle, even though 'Mr. Pee-Wee Baby' Griffin had crashed it a few years ago. It'd taken a couple of weeks and a bit of sweat and bloody knuckles before the cycle was ride-worthy again. That'd been three years ago and the bike still wasn't in the best of shape so Sam couldn't believe Spencer would willingly _not_ want to upgrade to a better motorcycle.

"You're gonna sell it?" she incredulously questioned.

"Nah," Spencer shrugged and turned to face Sam. He nonchalantly stated, "I'm gonna give it away."

"What?! Are you insane?! Give it away to who?" Sam decided that Spencer must still be delirious after Lewbert had sneezed on him and made the artist as sick as a dog. He seemed nearly recovered, but still...

Spencer couldn't hide his joy any more as a small smile broke out and he softly said, "You."

"Wha?" the blond teen was once again floored. (Maybe a little... well, a _lot_ more than before.) "W-Why would you give it to me?"

Spencer's smile grew as he simply stated, "Because you're a great best friend to my little sister... And you got a good heart... And you deserve it." He dropped the keys into her hand.

Yep. Sam definitely now knew a new meaning of the word 'floored', which she definitely was. She was torn between jumping on the motorcycle and riding it around the apartment or jumping on Spencer to show her gratitude. As much fun as riding the bike around the apartment would be she opted for the second idea. (The apartment was big but not _that_ big. She never get it over two or three miles per hour before having to slow down to turn. That'd be no fun!) Sam suddenly leapt onto Spencer, wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his hips and planted a big sloppy kiss on the lanky artist's lips.

Spencer was totally surprised by Sam's highly overt show of gratitude. Normally she'd just mouth a quick 'thanks' and move on. (If she even did that much. Sam wasn't one to outwardly show gratitude to anyone. She was civil to Carly, but to everyone else...) Now that being said, Spencer didn't mind his sister's best friend molesting him, even though she was _twelve_ _years_ younger than him. He figured she had finally maturing a little and was starting to mellow out a bit from her usual spontaneous outbursts. After all, the eighteen year old blonde had had a few boyfriends over the last few years so she probably was growing up and learning how to show a bit of gratitude in new and different ways.

But this was starting to get a little awkward. Sam's lips hadn't moved from his for close to a minute and it didn't look like she was going to let up any time soon. As a matter of fact, Sam's kisses were getting more passionate as her tongue was seeking admittance to Spencer's mouth and her hips started undulating against his crotch.

"Sam," Spencer grunted out of the side of his closed mouthed, not wanting to let her tongue gain entrance as he tried to disentangle himself from her powerful grasp.

It must've been enough to bring the blond teen out of whatever lusty haze she had been in. Sam jumped away from Spencer, wiped her mouth on the back of her sleeve and with wide panicked eyes muttered, "Ummm, thanks for the bike."

"_At least Sam has the decency to blush a little after jumping my bones like that,_" Spencer thought as her face took on the hue of an perfectly ripe tomato. "Um, no problem," Spencer waived it off. He was still a bit out of it from the kiss which he'd thoroughly enjoyed, but he was able to ask, "Ummm, Do you wanna take her out for a ride?"

"I'd love to!" Sam enthused before her face fell into despair. "But I don't got a helmet." She meekly begged, "Can I borrow yours?"

"No," Spencer scoffed before he brightened with an idea. "But I do have an extra helmet." He quickly dashed off to his room and immediately returned with a brightly colored safety helmet. "You _can_ use my 'Firecracker Dance' helmet."

Sam recognized the gaudily decorated, open-faced helmet right away. When they'd first started the iCarly web show, she and Carly had asked their audience to send in a video of the viewers dancing and Spencer wanted to get in on the action with his Firecracker Dance. Sam had snidely joked that the helmet made him look like a Ladybug.

"I don't wanna look like no frickin' bug," Sam scowled. "Not when I'm riding the baddest bike in the world."

"Welllll," Spencer pondered for a few seconds as he tossed the helmet in the air one-handed a coupla times before he came up with a plan. "Hey! How about we strip this bad boy and then you can paint it any way you want to?"

"Yeah, that'll work," Sam enthused. She and Spencer were both highly artistic so it wouldn't be a problem.

They went straight to work. Between a power sander and a paint scraping tool they had the helmet down to the bare fiberglass shell in no time. Of course the small pile of colorful debris they'd scraped off immediately caught on fire; Spencer's latent pyrotechnical abilities showing up at the most inopportune of moments, as usual.

As Sam doused the small fire with a handy fire extinguisher, Spencer went to work spraying on a black base coat of paint. Sam liked the basic black look so she decided to not do anything else to the helmet except maybe polish it until it shined. (And besides, it matched the color of the bike.) The quick-drying paint did its job and the two were on the road in no time with Sam on the Sterling and Spencer accompanying her on his own motorcycle.

The short maiden ride was thoroughly enjoyed by both Spencer and Sam. The lanky artist always loved the freedom he felt while riding his motorcycle and Sam really dug the sensual, thrumming vibrations between her legs from the powerful machine.

When Spencer and Sam got back to the apartment they found his sister Carly dressed for the dance but moping on the sofa, licking a spatula covered with cake batter. They both knew Sam should be the one to care for the web hostess since Spencer was still a little exhausted from his bout with the 'Lewbert Infection' and, being a clueless guy, he had absolutely no idea how to comfort a mopy female. He snuck off to his bedroom to lie down while Sam quickly went to the kitchen, grabbed a container of store-bought frosting from one of the cabinets and moved back over to sit with her friend.

Carly really appreciated Sam's gesture but she was still upset, so after a few mouthfuls of icing she started to head to her bedroom. Carly was immediately brought out of her funk when the door opened and her father, Colonel Steven Shay, walked in smiling warmly at his daughter. "Did someone want to go to a dance?" he asked.

Xxxxxx

The 'Crazy Hat/Spaghetti Taco Party' was still going strong, a Karaoke machine supplying the tunes, when Carly and her father arrived back at the apartment after the dance. The normal greetings and banter were exchanged and Sam, casting a sly eye Spencer's way, suggested that they do some Karaoke and that she had the perfect song to lead it off. She grabbed the mic and cued up the song before turning and looking directly at Carly.

_Call you up when I know he's at home,  
I jump out of my skin when he picks up the phone  
Why can't I tell if he's looking at me?  
Should I give him a smile?  
Should I get up and leave?  
I know it's strange, I don't know what I'm thinking  
But is it wrong if I see him this weekend  
I really hope I can get him alone  
I just don't, don't want her to know_

Sam started to wildly bounce and shimmy around as she sang the chorus.

_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah  
My best friend's brother is the one for me  
Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah  
A **full time artist** and he's 6 foot 3  
I don't want to, but I want to,  
Cause I just can't get him out of mind and  
Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah  
_

_My best friend's brother is the one for me  
BFB, BFB  
My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother  
_

The change in lyric didn't go unnoticed by Carly and her father, but they held their tongue for the time being.

_I kinda think that I might be his type  
Because if you're not around, he's not actin' too shy  
Sometimes I feel like he might make a move  
Is this all in my head?  
I don't know what to do  
I know it's strange, I don't know what he's thinking  
But is it wrong if I see him this weekend  
I really hope I can get him alone  
I just don't, don't want her to know_

_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_  
_My best friend's brother is the one for me_  
_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_  
_A **full time artist** and he's 6 foot 3_  
_I don't want to, but I want to,_  
_Cause I just can't get him out of mind and_  
_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_  
_My best friend's brother is the one for me_  
_BFB, BFB_  
_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother_  
_BFB, BFB_  
_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother_

_Cause he's such a dream_  
_Yeah_  
_And you know what I mean_  
_If you weren't related_

Even by now, Freddie noticed the changed line in the lyrics and had his suspicions that Sam might be crushing on Spencer for some unknown reason. But then again, Sam was a proud, professed liar so she just might be messing with everyone.

And what about Gibby and T-Bo, you ask? Well, the Groovy Smoothie manager was just enjoying the music. (Even if it wasn't hip hop or Jamaican reggae.)

Gibby, on the other hand, wasn't even paying attention. He was worrying about his newly acquired pet weasel and was thinking about heading home to check up on the furry critter.

_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_  
_My best friend's brother is the one for me_  
_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_  
_A **full time artist** and he's 6 foot 3_  
_I don't want to, but I want to_  
_Cause I just can't get him out of mind and_  
_Yeah yeah Yeeeeaaah_  
_My best friend's brother is the one for me_  
_BFB, BFB_  
_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother_  
_BFB, BFB_  
_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother_

Sam was definitely pumped after finishing the song. Everyone else in the apartment was, well _stunned_ wouldn't be too strong enough of a word.

"Well?" Sam joyfully begged, setting down the microphone while trying to gauge everyone's reaction.

Carly was the first to shake off the shock she was in. She angrily grabbed Sam by the arm and growled, "My room. Now!" as she dragged her blond friend up the stairs.

Colonel Shay was fast on the heels of his daughter as he firmly took Spencer by the elbow and said, "We need to talk," and walked the lanky artist to the downstairs bedroom.

T-Bo looked to Gibby and Freddie, the only other people in the room and asked, "What just happened?"

"I dunno," the rotund, sometimes iCarly actor shrugged, a perplexed look on his face. "I'm still getting over the news that Spencer isn't Carly's father."

"Yeah, about that," T-Bo shook his head in disbelief. "I always thought the same thing but I guess we were both wrong. Anyway, do you want to play a game?" He picked up the prop ax controller for the video game still cued up on the television and made a few chopping moves.

"Nah," Gibby waved him off as he turned and made his way to the front door. "I need to go home and check on my pet weasel."

"You got a pet weasel?" T-Bo begged in astonishment as he swiftly followed Gibby out the door. "You know, I always wanted a beaver as a pet. A big old fat one with sharp buck teeth and..." His rant was cut off as the door closed behind him.

Freddie stood there, still totally poleaxed by what'd just happened. Sam Puckett had just overtly stated that she was romantically interested in Spencer Shay and Freddie didn't know what to think about it. Sure, Sam had shown interest in the male of the species before, but they were always guys who were the same age as her. (She'd even showed interest in Freddie for a while but that hadn't work out.) The idea of Sam and Spence kissing, or worse nakedly making out, really weirded him out.

The muffled voices of Carly and Sam drifting down from Carly's bedroom from the floor above, and Spencer and his father coming from Spencer's bedroom down the short hallway, finally shook Freddie out of his thoughts. He looked around the apartment and noticed that he was the only one there. With nothing better to do, Freddie started to clean up the party mess. (After chowing down on a couple more spaghetti tacos. He knew his mother didn't approve of the supposedly decadent food so now would be the only time he'd get to eat his fill.)

Xxxxxx

Carly slammed the door behind her as she angrily rounded on her blond friend. "Just what was that supposed to be downstairs?"

"It was a song, Carls," Sam joked with a broad grin as she sat down on the bed and laid back, arms smugly folded behind her head like she'd just gotten away with a major prank. "It's what you sing when a Karaoke song is playing."

"No, that song said you have a crush on my brother," Carly shot back, still angry at her blond friend for not telling her beforehand about the crush. "Why didn't you tell me you liked Spencer? You just don't announce something like that with a song. That goes against Girl Code where you're suppose to ask permission from the sister first before you pursue your best friend's brother."

Sam propped herself up on her elbows and shrugged, "Well, it just sorta happened today when he gave me the motorcycle. I suddenly realized that Spence is a great guy and I really like-like him. He knows me better than anyone, except maybe you, and he accepts me for who I am. Plus, he really needs a steady girlfriend."

"He does go through girlfriends like a duck swims through water," Carly laughed at her brother's problem keeping a steady girlfriend, her temper rapidly dissipating when she realized that the Girl Code was now being satisfied with this talk. The song was just Sam's forward way of thinking and asking permission.

"Yeah," Sam laughed along with her friend. "I don't think Spence has been with a girl for more than a few days before she either dumps him or simply disappears from his life."

"That is soooo true," Carly wistfully sighed before she became pensive. "But, what makes you think Spencer will go out with you?"

"I dunno Carls," Sam sighed as she fell back onto the bed and absently looked up at the ceiling. "I mean we have a lot in common. We're both artistic and kinda creative, and like motorcycles... And we both like the same kinds of TV shows like **Girly Cow** and **Celebs Underwater**."

"Yeah but he's twelve years older than we are," Carly countered. "That could be a major obstacle."

"I don't think so," Sam said as she rolled over onto her stomach and swung around to face Carly at the foot of the bed. "Spence doesn't act his age, he acts more our age."

"Well, you still shoulda talked to me first," Carly weakly protested.

"I was gonna," the blonde smirked, "but the opportunity was there and I just went for it." She sat up on the edge of the bed, held her arms wide open and asked, "Still BFs?"

"Yeah," Carly laughed in relief as she sat down and latched onto her blonde friend for a warm hug.

Xxxxxx

Colonel Shay rounded on his son after shutting the door and demanded, "Why did Sam change the lyrics of the song? Do you have something to tell me?"

"You noticed the lyrics change?" Spencer yelped in confusion. "How?"

"I may be your father but I have command over a crew of men that are younger than you, and they play their music during their down time. I've heard the song before."

"Yeah, I guess," Spencer ceded his father's point.

"That's beside the point," Colonel Shay said with a heavy sigh, wanting to confront his son about something else that'd been nagging at him for years. "But there are a few other things we need to clear up first. Why didn't you tell me you quit law school?"

"I thought you'd be disappointed in me," Spencer explained, looking slightly abashed. "I was never cut out to be a lawyer."

The Colonel blew a quick breath out through his nose to calm himself before he asked, "Okay, I can understand that. You'd make a terrible lawyer. So, how is your artwork doing?"

"I sell a piece now and then and get the occasional commission," Spencer winced, "but it's not enough to live on. But with you paying the rent and utilities here I'm doing okay. I'm able to bring in enough money to cover our food and other needs."

"That's good," Colonel Shay let out a small proud smile before his stern, military demeanor arose once again. "Now getting back to what just happened, Sam confessed she has a crush on you. What are you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know," Spencer anxiously huffed as he heavily sat down on his bed and scrubbed his face with his hands. He relayed the story of Socko's gift for his cousin Ryder and the surprise thanks Sam had given to him after he gave the bike to her. He looked to his father as he finished, "I really didn't see it coming."

"Do you think her feelings are real?"

"I..." Spencer paused as he thought about it for a few seconds before continuing, "...I really don't know. I mean, she has been growing up and has had a few boyfriends over the last few years. Maybe she's matured enough to realize the situation. I know she's a good kid but she doesn't think things through, so maybe this is just a spur of the moment deal. Maybe it was just gratitude for the bike."

"I don't think it is," the Colonel sighed as he sat down beside his son on the bed and placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder. "I watch Carly's web show whenever I can and Sam's flippant demeanor always changes whenever you are mentioned or are on the show. I think her feelings for you are real."

"But I'm so much older than Sam," Spencer suddenly yelped as if he'd just thought about it.

"Yes, you're twelve years older than Sam," Colonel Shay softly stated, "but that shouldn't matter. Love has no age limits; It doesn't consider race, creed or color either. That's why some young guys love 'cougars' and many young women go for older men. That's just the way it is sometimes."

"Soooo..." Spencer didn't know where to go from here. His father didn't seem adverse with him dating Sam but he still wasn't sure what to do.

The Colonel seemed to understand where Spencer was coming from, so he said, "I think you need to talk to Sam and get all the facts before you do anything rash, like break her heart _or_ jump into bed with her."

"You're right, Dad. Thanks."

"And I think you need to have Freddie set up a web site to show off and sell your artwork," Steven Shay suggested. "You need to think _globally,_ not just _locally."_

Spencer slapped his forehead in an 'AH HA' gesture and moaned, "Now why didn't I think of that!"

The Colonel gently laughed as he mentioned, "I'm surprised the iCarly website hasn't been flooded with requests to buy the 'Merry Sniffmas" tree or any of your other sculptures that have been shown on the show over the years. I would have thought some clothing store would've snap up that huge pair of blue jeans right away just to draw customers in."

Xxxxxx

The first floor of the apartment was clean once again. Freddie turned and watched from the couch as Sam and Carly walked down the stairs and, at the same time, Spencer and his father emerged from the downstairs bedroom.

"Carly, Freddie," the Colonel said in a voice that sounded more like an order than a suggestion, "why don't you show me this Groovy Smoothie shop I've heard so much about."

The young brunette first looked questioningly to her blond friend, then to her brother and Freddie before turning to her father and said, "Um, sure."

As the two young teens started to leave with Colonel Shay, Sam started to follow. The Colonel stopped the blonde at the door and ordered, "Not you Samantha. You stay here with Spencer."

Xxxxxx

Author's Questions:

Is Ryder Daniels Socko's cousin? Why hasn't any of the other writer on this site seen the possible connection between the two Dan Wrap shows? (I might have missed it since I haven't read _all_ of the iCarly stories here on fanfic, but it does fit the profile of Socko's family where the first name describes their occupation.)

Why hasn't the idea of a website to sell Spencer's art been mentioned before? It's the obvious thing to do.

I've seen only one other fanfic story here using the song **"Best Friend's Brother"** from **VicTorious** in conjunction with a Spam story and it was mainly the song with a few piddly lines interspersed here and there. It didn't really delve into the many possible scenarios that could play off the song, so here's my version.

Oh, and if you ask my opinion, the 1975 Triumph motorcycle is the best around. I once rode my friend's '75 Triumph 750 cc and I almost got a ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign since my feet didn't come off the pegs. I had to demonstrate to the Police Officer that I didn't need to put a foot down on the road when I came to a full stop, that the bike was just that well balanced. I smugly sat on the stationary bike, with feet on the pedals, for ten whole seconds before he let me go.

The final chapter follows so turn the page.


	2. Two Conversation

Disclaimer: I own not the characters, situations or locations from the **Nickelodeon** series **iCarly**. They are copyrighted by either the network or Dan Schneider. I don't know and I don't care. I also don't own the rights to the song used in chapter 1 that this story uses to its fullest potential. I write stories using the characters and such for my own, and your, enjoyment. I know I enjoyed it, but I'm just strange that way.

Xxxxxx

BFB

Chapter 2

Two Conversations

Xxxxxx

"A Strawberry Splat for the lady and a Blueberry Bang for her father," Freddie said as he set the proper cups in front of the two people sitting at the small table before taking a seat next to his friend with his own drink in hand.

"How much were they?" Colonel Shay asked as he took his wallet out of his back pocket and opened it to get a few bills out.

Freddie waved him off and said, "Don't worry about it, Sir. I'm used to buying three smoothies. I always pay for mine and Carly's and Sam never pays. Besides, you're our guest."

"Well, thank you Freddie," the Air Force Colonel kindly replied and put his wallet away. He took a sip of his drink, swished it around in his mouth for a few seconds before holding the cup out in front of him to look at it as he swallowed. He licked his lips, smiled and stated, "This is very good."

"Yes it is," Carly laughed at her father's reaction before holding out her own cup to offer him a sip. "Would you like to try the strawberry?"

"No, thank you Cupcake," the Colonel replied as he gently shook his Styrofoam cup in her direction. "I'll stick with the blueberry for the healthy oxidants."

Freddie let out a light laugh as he said, "That won't work with Carly, Sir. We've had this same argument quite a few time."

Carly quickly cut in, slightly miffed that her friend would bring up their long-running disagreement. "I don't care if blueberries have more oxidants than strawberries. So what if blueberries are number one in the amount of oxidants in fruit. Strawberries aren't that far behind at number three."

"Yes, yes," Freddie huffed out, also fed up with their little ongoing dispute. A sly smile arose on his lips as he said, "But I like the taste of blueberries better while you love strawberries. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this."

"I suppose," Carly sighed before she leaned in, coyly looked him in the eye and firmly said, "but I'm still right."

All Freddie could do was laugh. Colonel Shay also let out a soft chuckle as he said under his breath loud enough for teens to hear, "Shay's and their stubborn streak." He leaned over to the boy and whispered, "That's something you'll need to put up with in the future if you know what's good for you. That's if you haven't learn that lesson yet."

"What do you mean, Colonel?"

"We'll get to that in a moment," the Air Force Officer said aloud to both of the teens, then specifically looked at his daughter. "But I'd like to hear your thoughts about Sam's little song. Give me a sit-rep."

Carly knew enough about her father's work to know that a 'sit-rep' was military jargon for a situation report. He'd watch Carly drag Sam up to her room to talk so he was trying to find out what she had learned.

"Well, Sam admitted she _does_ have more than a little crush on Spencer since they both have a lot in common, and she's not worried about their age difference. If I had to guess, I'd say Sam loves Spence."

"That's good to hear," Colonel Shay said as he relaxed a bit in his chair. He had been worried that the earlier kiss and later change in lyric were sheerly motivated by gratitude alone, like Spencer had proposed.

"Do you really mean that?" Freddie questioned in surprise. "It sounds like you're in favor of Sam and Spencer dating."

"I won't stand in the way if it happens," Steven Shay, in father mode, said to the young adults. "As I told Spencer during our talk, that's why some young men go after cougars and some young women chase after..." The Colonel scratched his chin as he pondered for a second, then asked, "...What's the male equivalent of a cougar?"

"Manther," both Carly and Freddie responded at the same time. They quickly peered over to the other then broke out in a small laugh at the coincidence.

Freddie explained during the ensuing jocularity at the table, "It's the combined words 'man' and 'panther'. At least that's the word everyone's using right now for an older man being pursued by a younger woman. It's changed a few times over the past coupla years."

"Okay," Colonel Shay laughed along. "So my son is a bit of a Manther."

The laughter slowly died down to an amiable silence as the three enjoyed they smoothies. After a few minutes, Colonel Shay put his Styrofoam cup down and said in all seriousness, "There is one other thing I'd like to know. What happened after the taco truck accident that made you two break up?" He looked to his daughter and added, "You never got into that in your e-mails to me. Just that Freddie had broken up with you."

"Foreign bacon," Carly almost whispered, her head bowed with an anguished expression.

"Foreign... bacon?" her father begged in curiosity. "I'm sorry but I don't understand the reference."

It appeared as if the brunette wasn't willing to respond so Freddie answered, "You probably wouldn't get the reference because it has to do with Sam and one of the first guys she dated, Eric Moseby."

Carly partially came out of her funk and added, "Noseby Moseby."

"Noseby?" Colonel Shay begged out of curiosity. "That's a curious nickname. I would guess it's because he butts into everybody's business."

"No." Carly giggled before clarifying, "He has a big nose."

"It's huge," Freddie added before he got back to the subject the Air Force Officer had asked about. "Anyway, Eric had asked Sam out on like a million dates but she wouldn't go out with him. She finally agreed to a date after he got her a subscription to the Foreign Bacon of the Month Club."

Colonel Shay only thought about that information for a second before he said to Freddie, "So foreign bacon swayed Sam's decision to date the young man and you thought your saving Carly's life had the same effect; That she was only grateful to you for saving her life."

"Yes, it may have been stupid, but I thought it was the right thing to do."

"It _was_ the right thing to do at the time," Colonel Shay said to the young man with a fatherly pat on his shoulder. "You two needed to let things settle down before exploring a possible relationship." He turned to his daughter and explained, "You were in what's called hero worship mode so it was wise for Freddie to break up with you. But you only should have waited until the casts came off and then gave it another shot if you still loved him."

"That's what I said," Freddie cut in. "I told Carly that after the casts came off and she still wanted to be my girlfriend, that I'd be psyched."

"Oh my Gawd," Carly gasped in realization. "I forgot all about that. You were in those casts for over two months and things sorta went back to normal and I completely forgot."

Colonel Steven Shay scowled at his daughter and almost growled at her, "And the casts weren't a constant reminder of what he had _sacrificed_ for you?"

Carly ashamedly squeaked, "No."

"Well the casts are off now," the Colonel said to Carly, "and the question still stands. What are your feeling toward Freddie?"

Carly appeared to be in deep thought over the question so Freddie answered for her, "I think she gave me her answer when she started dating other guys: Adam, Steven, Cort; And Lance being being the most recent after the accident."

"You _have_ been busy," the Colonel said to his daughter.

"It's not like that, dad," Carly defensively spat to her father. "Sure, they were all gorgeous and exciting when I started dating them but they _all_ let me down in one way or another. Adam dumped me after what happened at Webicon and Cort was too stupid for his own good. Lance was no help at all when I got my toe stuck in the bathtub faucet..." she hung her head in shame and disgust as she hushed, "and I don't even want to talk about the other one."

Colonel Shay ignore the litany of boy's name, he'd read his daughter's abbreviated e-mail accounts about them and she had never gone into much detail about any of the relationships, but something else caught his attention that he hadn't heard about. He incredulously inquired, "You let a _boy_ in your bathroom while you were in the tub taking a bath?"

Carly defensively yelped, "I had a sweater on that stretched out when it go wet and covered _all_ of me." She regained a bit of her composure before she continued. "But that's not the point I was making. I have a terrible track record when it comes to dating and I didn't want to add Freddie to my long list of failures."

She could see her father was about to make a point by saying that Freddie was already on the list after the taco truck incident but she quickly cut him off, "I didn't add Freddie to the list because we never went out on an actual date while we were together."

The web hostess laid a hand on Freddie's arm that was on the table, his hand holding on to his cup, looked him in the eye and said, "I think our friendship is more important that anything else in the world. I'd hate to lose you if we tried and failed."

Silence fell over the two Shays and one Benson for a half minute before Colonel Shay leaned in close to his daughter and angrily hushed, "Bull."

Carly was totally shocked but got out a defensive, "What?"

The Colonel leaned back in his stool and answered, "I said that's bull. You're just afraid to even try."

"But if we try and something happens..." Carly started to protest before she was soundly cut off by her father.

"If you _don't_ try, you'll _never_ know." He pointed to Freddie as he swiftly continued. "Sitting right beside you, you have a young man who's deeply devoted to you. Someone who would do anything you ask of him, someone who only wants what's best for you; Even if that means he has to push you out of the way of an oncoming vehicle and take the hit himself. If that's not love, well, then I don't know what is."

The Air Force Colonel crossed his arms and leaned on the table facing Carly. He softly, kindly continued, "Sure you'll have arguments, it's inevitable in any kind of relationship. I bet you've had major disagreements before but you're still friends.

"I've watched some of your web cast and I see how your face lights up when you look at Freddie; And I'm not talking about when you look into the camera but when you see the man _behind_ the camera."

Colonel Shay leaned back in his seat and sighed, "I see the love in your eyes and how special you think Freddie is. I can also see it between the line in the e-mails you send me and the few video chats we've been able to have. You practically light up whenever you talk about him, even in you e-mails."

Carly thought about what her father had just said for a whole minute, her eyes pensively focused on the smoothie cup clutched in her hands. Without looking up, she murmured, "You're right dad. I can't let my fears get the better of me. If I did, I might miss out on something wonderful." As she said the last two words, her gaze went from her cup to the guy sitting beside her. A weak but endearing smile arose.

"That's my Cupcake," Colonel Shay warmly said as he stood, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and took a few bills from it. He tossed them on the table in front of Freddie and said, "Why don't you two go out for a late night snack on me. I'm sure you have a few things to discuss."

"Thanks dad," Carly cooed, got up and gave him a big hug. "But what are you going to do? You won't be in town for very long and I want to catch up with you some more."

"That's what phone calls and video chats are for, Cupcake," the Colonel replied, returning the embrace. "I'm going to head back to the apartment and see how your brother is doing."

"Hopefully," Freddie quietly started but loud enough for the two Shays to hear, "Spenser hasn't burned the place down while we've been gone."

"What," the Colonel said, not surprised at all with the comment. "Are Spenser's pyrotechnical abilities still randomly showing up?"

Freddie was a little taken aback that the Colonel had heard him, but answered, "You didn't smell the fire extinguisher fumes in the apartment? It smelled like someone used one earlier this afternoon."

"I was wondering what that was," Colonel Shay lightly laughed, "I hadn't smelled anything like it in a long time." He turned to Carly and said with a wry smile, "I don't know how many things suddenly caught on fire when Spencer was just a baby before your mother had to find fire retardant blankets and diapers and such for his room."

The Colonel continued his explanation to the two teens, "We normally use fire-retardant _foam_ on any fires we have at the airbase and that's a completely different smell than your standard CO2 or Halon fire extinguishers."

Xxxxxx

**Meanwhile**

**Back in Apartment 8-C**

"I take it the Colonel wants us to talk?" Sam nonchalantly asked as she walked over to the couch and laid down, her hands tucked smugly behind her head.

"Yes, he does," Spenser anxiously replied as he stood in front of the couch, staring down at her. He didn't know where to begin so he just blurted out, "Do you have a crush on me?"

Sam lightly chuckled as she answered, "Whatever gave you that idea?" She was really enjoying teasing Spenser. He was just so cute whenever he got flustered.

"Well, the fact that you changed the lyric from 'a punk rock drummer' to 'a full time artist' and almost raped me when I gave you the bike earlier gave me a hint."

Sam laughed before saying, "Yeah, those are some pretty good hints, but I _don't_ have a crush on you."

"You don't?"

"Nah, I used to," Sam said as she got up off the couch and sauntered close to Spencer. She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked him directly in the eye before confessing, "Now Mamma _loves_ you."

"But I'm twelve years older than you are," Spenser defensively protested while trying to wriggle out of Sam's strong grasp, to no avail. "You're eighteen and I'm thirty. I'm like twice as old as you are. That an awful big age gap."

Sam countered with, "Yeah, but when I'm sixty, you'll only be seventy two. The gap won't seem as big then."

"But, why me?" Spencer struggled to make sense of the situation as he also struggled to extricate himself from Sam's powerful embrace.

"Why not you," Sam countered with a winning smile. "We both like the same things; We're compatible."

"But I'm your best friend's brother," Spencer countered Sam's counter and started grasping at straws. "Isn't there some kinda girl code or something that sez you can't date your best friend's brother?"

Sam removed her arms from around Spencer's waist. But before he could escape she swiftly wrapped them to around his neck, pulling him down to be face-to-face with her. She got nose-to-nose with him and said, "There is, but it only sez that I have to get Carls' approval before chasing after ya. I just did that so I'm free and clear to do _this."_

Sam swiftly closed the small distance between them and smashed her lips to his, just like earlier that afternoon when she'd 'thanked' Spencer for the Sterling motorcycle.

Spencer closed his mouth tight, just like that afternoon, but this seemed totally different. The kiss was aggressive, like the first one, but it was also different, too. It wasn't as... assertive as the previous one, it was more loving than passionate, more boyfriend/girlfriend-ish than animal mating-ish. (If that made any sense.)

Spencer's back muscles were starting to tense up from leaning over (He is a whole foot taller that the blonde girl) so he wrapped his arms under Sam's butt and lifted her up so he was standing erect. At the same time he opened his mouth to grant Sam's tongue entrance.

She had answered all of his questions and settled all his worries. His dad wasn't adverse to he and Sam starting a relationship, (and she'd supposedly talked to Carly and got an okey-dokey there too) so Spencer had decided to go with the flow and see how it turned out.

Spencer knew Sam was a little rough around the edges, but then who wasn't at that age? And who was he to talk? He was thirty years old and had more rough edges than a four year old so Sam's little eccentricities were nothing to worry about. In fact, some would say she acted more mature than he did.

Sometimes.

The lanky artist was brought out of musings when Sam leaned out of the kiss and said, "Spence, are you gonna return momma's affection? Don't you wanna stick your tongue down my throat?"

"Sammy," Spencer answered as he backed over to the couch and sat down with her still straddling his legs and snug in his arms, "you're still young so there's a lot you need to learn; And how to kiss _properly_ is one of those things."

Sam defensively leaned back like she wanted to escape his grasp as she angrily howled, "Momma know how to kiss."

She started to dive in for another fierce lip lock but Spencer held her at bay, saying, "I'm not complaining about how you kiss, Sammy. It's just that there are like a hundred different ways to kiss and you only know a couple. Sticking your tongue down someone's throat may seem like a good idea but you could choke them or lose your tongue in the process."

Sam's anger quickly faded and was replaced with a smirk as she eagerly begged, "Will you you teach me the other ninety-nine ways to kiss?"

"Sure Sammy," Spencer said as he leaned back into the couch with the blonde still firmly wrapped around his torso and gently pulled her forward to begin the lesson.

Sam put her hands on his chest and held back as she said, "Wait a minute. Why are you calling me Sammy all of a sudden?"

"Well if we're gonna start dating, I don't want any mistaken ideas floating around when I tell people I'm dating 'Sam'. It sounds like I'm dating a guy, and I _know _you don't like to be called Samantha."

"That's so true," Sam ceded.

"Do you want me to call you something else? I could call you sweetie, or honey or ma amour?"

"Oh _Hell,_ no!" Sam almost screamed in disgust. She could never go for any of that mushy stuff. It just wasn't her style and Spencer knew it. Sam thought about it for a quick second and concluded, "No. I guess Sammy will do... for now."

"Hai, Koi," Spencer answered in Japanese for some unknown reason before starting with the quick little peck on the cheek. "That's kiss number one..." then an Eskimo nose kiss, "...number two..." and moving on from there. (Hai, Koi = Yes, Beloved)

Xxxxxx

Spencer and Sam were still perfecting the tenth kind of kiss, having stopped the lesson to practice it for over an hour by that time, when Freddie and Carly came through the door hand-in-hand before Freddie shut the door and wrapped an arm around Carly's waist, pulling her into his side.

"I see you two came to an understanding," Carly happily called out to her brother and her best girl friend when she saw them making out on the couch.

Sam rolled to the side off of Spencer's lap with either a snide comeback or silly comment on her lips before she was stunned into silence seeing Carly and Freddie standing so close together. She quickly regained her wits, coyly smiled and responded, "And it looks like you two came to the same conclusion."

Carly blushed a little as she looked to her new boyfriend and said, "Yes we did. Dad helped me understand that Freddie's the ideal guy for me." She caressed the iCarly Tech Producer's cheek and admitted, "I was wrong to give up on our relationship because of some 'foreign bacon' nonsense."

"Thaaaat mighta been my fault," Sam reluctantly admitted as she and Spencer got up off the couch to talk with the others. "I kinda fed Freddork the foreign bacon chizz to break you two up. I didn't think you were meant to be together at the time, but I guess I was wrong."

Carly thought back to just after the taco truck accident when she and Freddie were a couple and realized Sam could be right. She admitted, "Yeah, we were going at it kinda hot and heavy at the time. If Freddie's mom hadn't walked in on us when he first came home from the hospital, we might've gone all the way that afternoon. So maybe it was good that we took a step back in our relationship back then."

Spencer finally perked up as he glanced around behind Carly and Freddie and asked, "Where's dad?"

Carly pulled her Pearphone out of her pants pocket to show it to Spencer and curiously begged, "Didn't you get his text message?"

The lanky artist blushed a bit as he answered, "No, Sam and I have been kinda busy since you all left. What did he say?"

"Dad ran into one of his old Air Force buddies as he was heading back here. They decided to get together with a few other friends to talk about old times and won't be back until late. He said he'll see us in the morning."

"Well momma's hungry," Sam said as she broke for the kitchen and headed straight for the refrigerator. "What's for dinner?" She pulled her every trusty, always handy fork from one of her pants pockets and deftly twirled it in her fingers.

Freddie suggested, "You could reheat the leftover spaghetti tacos from earlier. I put the sauce and noodles in the fridge when I was cleaning up, and you all were having your private conversations."

"Found it," Sam said as she emerged from the refrigerator, bowl and fork in hand as she quickly dug into the now cold spaghetti sauce.

"Let me heat it up for you, Chéri," Spencer said, using the French word for beloved as he moved into the kitchen. Sam, with her mouth full, angrily growled at him and protectively held the bowl off to the side. "Libst?" (German for beloved)

Sam finally swallowed her mouthful of tomato sauce, ground beef and spices and firmly said, "Sammy."

"All right, all right!" Spencer defensively replied as he backed away with hands raised. "Sammy it is." The two started arguing. Sam not wanting to give up her snack and Spencer reminding her that it would taste even better if it was hot.

"Awww," Freddie sarcastically cooed at the scene to his newly designated girlfriend. "We get to watch their first lover's quarrel. Knowing Sam, it's the first of many to come. I kinda feel sorry for Spence."

"Yeah," Carly agreed. "But I do like the fact that Spence was trying to find a cutesy nickname for Sam. It makes them seem more like a real couple."

"So you like cutesy nicknames," Freddie questioned with a smirk and raised eyebrow, "querido?"

Carly could only guess that the name he spoke was Spanish and that she needed to come up with one of her own. She thought back to when they had been together after the taco truck accident and replied, "I do like cutesy nicknames, _Cukey._"

"Cukey?" Freddie laughed. "I thought you found my tech-talk cukey, not me."

"I did," Carly giggled along. "But you're cukey too."

"Well," Freddie thought about it for a second before he slyly replied, "just as long as you call me every day so I can tell you how amazing and beautiful you are."

"Carly! Freddie!" Sam came storming out of the kitchen empty handed and stomped up to the happy couple. "BFB is getting on my nerves. He took away my bowl and won't give it back to me."

Just then a loud beep could be heard coming from the kitchen. The three teens turned and saw Spencer taking the bowl and another plate piled high with spaghetti noodles out of the microwave and then he began to put the ingredients into taco shells. He yelled over his shoulder, "SBF! Come and get it!"

Sam saw what he was doing and sheepishly smiled. "Well, maybe he's okay." She dashed back into the kitchen to resume eating.

Freddie questioned, "SBF?"

Carly giggled as she answered, "I think Spence is calling Sam his Sister's Best Friend."

"Well, it's a lot better than calling her Sam or Sammy. At least no one will hassle him about dating a guy."

-30-

A/N: And that's how I would have ended the show, with two couples formed from the four main character. (Three couples if you want to put Gibby and T-Bo together as close friends who've bonded over their love of pets.)

I hope you liked it.

pbow


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